Go Figure, Nick Diaz Will Not Be Fired for His Botched UFC 143 Drug Test

(I may not know how to buy a house, but if you give me fifteen minutes I WILL make a four percolator bong out of this.)
Man, the UFC marketing department intern in charge of Lorenzo Fertitta’s Twitter account must be working overtime these past few days. Aside from announcing the Mir/Velasquez, Griffin/Ortiz, and Overeem/JDS fights last night, “Lorenzo” recently held a Twitter Q & A session to set the record straight on this whole Nick Diaz/Puff the Magic Dragon thing. And even if Diaz is planning to retire, his contract with the UFC will remain. You know, just in case he gets the sudden desire to fight B.J. Penn, Karo Parisyan, or Joe Riggs again in some small promotion somewhere.
When asked about Diaz’s Zuffa future, Fertitta was quick to respond, “[I] really like the kid [he] just needs to get it together. I’m a sap for real fighters.” We know, Lorenzo.
We don’t want you to argue about whether or not marijuana should be considered a banned substance, or illegal for that matter, because we already have. Needless to say, if anyone out there actually thinks weed enhances anything but zombie mode on Call of Duty and the enjoyment of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, then they are clearly unfamiliar with the term “enhance.” What we are interested in is what kind of punishment you think Diaz should receive for violating a rule, as silly as it may be. Three months? Six months? A year? Well, barring a successful appeal, which, come on, it’s looking like it will be a year or more before we see Diaz in the octagon, if at all.
Perhaps even more hilarious than the predicament Diaz has put himself in was how the MMA community responded to his failed drug test. Check out some of the best tweets, compiled by MMAFighting.com, below.
@TimKennedyMMA: Nick Diaz was the aggressor of the fight while he was high as a kite is a testament to how good he really is and how much pot he can smoke.
@malkikawa: I was positive after 143…. Very positive, condit won… Lol
@FilthyTomLawlor: Telling me that the top fighters in MMA smoke pot regularly is like saying that @ryanbader and @Kingsbu suck at beerpong: FACT
@Schindiggity: Nick Diaz tests+ for weed, so Fkn what!! He should be praised for doing so well hi! Plus he has a medical marijuana license! Wtf
@ForrestGriffin: I don’t do drugs…. I suck naturally.
@MieshaTate: “@Michael_Pugh: @mayhemmiller and @MieshaTate What are your thoughts about Diaz’s test failure?” #stupid
@mayhemmiller: They shouldn’t test for it but they do.
@DUANEBANGCOM: “@spilledbagofice: Nick should just say there was some THC in a supplement he got from GNC. #blameGNC” everyone else does. Haha
@lastcall155: @KCBanditMMA The @DiazBrothers209 R 2 of the realist doods I’ve met in this sport! Ive got nuthin but good things 2 say about em. #Realtalk
@joerogan: To make you feel slightly better after the shit news of Nick Diaz testing positive, I offer the black keys.
@JoeDuarteMMA: Tricky Nicky got caught smokin’ that sticky! # #UFC #RT
While we’re on the subject of shameless plugs, have you followed us on Twitter yet? Seriously, we need help understanding what the hell all these hashtags are supposed to mean.
-J. Jones